My first clear encounter with intuition
One of the greatest gifts we have is the gift of intuition. The more aware we become of our intuition the greater our psychic abilities. We all have these abilities; and it is up to each one of us to understand, discover and ignite our gifts. One of the main factors that I believe is stopping us from living authentically and in our truest potential as intuitive beings is fear; and fear can be quite paralyzing.
The first time I had heard that we are all psychic was from my clairvoyant friend who I shared an apartment with in Washington, DC in the late 90’s. She would always say to me that we are all psychic, but I never believed in the possibility that I could be psychic. I always thought that people were either born with the ability or they were not; and I considered myself one of the latter. How ironic that a psychic tells me that I am psychic (that we all are), but I still did not believe this for myself! Nevertheless, thanks to my friend, I became very much aware of my own intuition (my gut feelings) but I did not understand what it truly meant to be psychic until I was consciously aware that I was experiencing it for myself twenty years later.
In June 2012, when I moved to England, I joined a yoga studio in central London. I had been practicing yoga for 10 years so everywhere I had lived before, I would always seek out a yoga studio or a yoga class. The yoga studio I went to in London was also a place that offered holistic treatments and held workshops on various topics related to mind, body, and spirit. After a couple of months of attending yoga classes I noticed a workshop that would be held in September about psychic development. The title of the workshop was “Developing our Awareness of Subtle Energy”; and there was a small description below it about learning of psychic abilities. My first thought was how cool such a topic exists in a ‘normal’ public space and that anyone could just sign up and attend! I signed up.
On September 15, I arrived at the workshop and I was feeling quite nervous. It was my first time going to anything ‘public’ on the topic and found myself feeling odd. Up until then I had only spoken to my friend; and she would never tell anyone she was clairvoyant. Most people, she would say, would either laugh or run away in fear thinking that she could ‘see’ everything about their lives, which of course wasn’t true. I always felt comfortable around her and was utterly fascinated by her stories. Outside of this safe space, however, I would react quite differently.
At the workshop, I sat towards the back trying to hide myself. I felt like I was somewhere I wasn’t supposed to be. The guy leading the workshop was very down to earth and funny so I started to feel at ease from the start. He then explained what would be happening throughout the day and that we would all be practicing with each other. Wait. What? Practicing?!
I suddenly felt my face turn bright red because I was there to listen, not to participate! I wasn’t psychic and I was repeating the words in my head. I was ready to raise my hand to excuse myself, and at the same time I whispered to the person next to me that this isn’t what I thought it was going to be because I was not here to practice. When the other person concurred and felt the same I relaxed; and thankfully, I ended up staying.
We were first guided through a visual mediation to ground ourselves, open up our chakras, and connect to source (God/universe). I had never meditated like this before. In fact, the only type of meditation I had ever practiced was through yoga. The connection I felt sent me into an automatic state of bliss. I felt my energetic body expanding and floating. It was the most incredible feeling. I had entered this state of being very easily and automatically as if I had been practicing for years.
When we came out of the meditation, we were paired up to practice psychometry, which is basically where you hold a personal item of another person and you wait to see what information you get from that object. The woman I paired up with gave me her hair clip; which I held in my hand for a while. In my mind I was repeating “I can’t do this. This is ridiculous. I have nothing to tell her”.
At the same time I was starting to feel quite sick from holding the hair clip. I didn’t want to hold it and I wanted to give it back to her. I was actually feeling nauseous. I started to feel embarrassed that this is what I was feeling. I started to wonder what was going on. Could I be that bothered by this woman’s hair clip? I couldn’t wait until the session was over so I could give it back to her.
We were then asked to share with each other any thoughts and visions that would come to mind. I immediately apologized to the woman and told her I did not pick up any information. While everyone else was sharing out loud their experiences and validations; I got the courage to quietly tell her how I felt about her hair clip. I was again very apologetic. She said to me, “So interesting that you say that because I normally keep this hair clip in a draw in my desk at work. I normally never take it with me. I associate this hair clip with my job and at the moment I hate my job.” She went on to explain how upset she was at work.
The rest of the day were full of stories like these; and one after the other I was blown away by all the information, the feelings and the visuals I was able to pick up from the various people I worked with. Since everything is energy, including our thoughts, I was able to pick up information from other people when I connected with their energy field.
Our thoughts carry emotions and feelings that are felt by others. We all experience this everyday of our lives, but we are not always aware or attuned to it. This information is processed through our different intuitive abilities such as seeing (clairvoyant), knowing (claircognizant), sensing (clairsentient), and hearing (clairaudient); among others. When we connect with our inner wisdom, we are able to sense the subtle energy that is all around us; connecting us to each other.
Despite all that I was learning and experiencing; fear crept in and I shut down.
A week after the workshop my husband and I were off to Venice, Italy to celebrate our friend’s twentieth wedding anniversary. It was my first time in Venice. After my experience a week earlier at the workshop, I had not learned to protect my energy field, nor did I know the impact that opening up can have on our energy field. I became incredibly sensitive; and on top of that, I would later learn that water enhances my intuitive abilities; and of course I was surrounded by water in Venice!
One morning in Venice, our friend was speaking about work and about a meeting he had recently been to. We all worked for the same company. I sensed tremendous sadness and had to excuse myself. I felt the emotions around a situation at work that my husband would go through in three months time. I was in tears and didn’t understand exactly why I was feeling so distraught, but I mentioned it in detail to my husband who thought I was overreacting and that it was not possible. I would later learn that these weren’t my emotions, thoughts, and feelings; and I wasn’t over reacting to a current situation but to one that would take place in a few months.
I had tapped into someone else’s deep emotional layer that they were not (yet) aware of themselves. I realized that this is what I had been doing all of my life, but I had always been told that I was being ‘too emotional’ or ‘overreacting’ to a situation. I would then feel confused and was left wondering if there was something wrong with me. The experience in Venice was an important validation for me because I was able to witness the emotional turmoil that took place months later; including the behavior and actions of my colleagues.
I started remembering how intuitive I had been as a child, but since I thought I was ‘causing’ things to happen fear would crept in. Many people, like myself, were not taught about intuitive abilities and subtle energy early on in life. This knowledge and wisdom did not form part of the educational structure of mainstream society; nor did it exist in the cultural pockets of society that I was raised in. If we were all taught about this openly as part of our education there would be no fear or limiting beliefs around this topic and we would all embrace, appreciate, and understand the many talents we all have.
Unfortunately, this ‘old structure’ keeps our level of awareness quite limited. It is also quite limiting because we are only taught in linear time; which is what we are used to in our third dimensional reality, but ‘time’ differs when we start working with subtle energy. Every possibility that could exist or has existed according to our linear time is all happening simultaneously in ‘outer time’.
Although these are concepts I learned about later (and will expand on them separately), I share my personal story because opening up may not be easy for everyone and can be quite confusing and even ‘scary’ when all we have learned or sensed is fear around this topic. I closed down and did not not revisit what I had just started discovering until four years later; after my second son was born.
The truth is that there is nothing to fear. Our essence – that which is divine and comes from the Divine – is pure love and light. Nothing can be more powerful than the pure divine state of being that is who we are in essence. That which we perceive as ‘scary’ or negative’ is an illusion; it is not real. We are more powerful than anything we perceive as negative or evil.
Our inner knowledge and wisdom around intuitive abilities is now more accepted in mainstream society. Becoming aware of subtle energy – recognizing it, accepting it, learning about it, and embracing it – without fear helps us see things in our life more clearly, without illusion. It is a step forward to embracing all aspects of who we are.